This Butch Reviews the RodeoH Boxer

If you’ve been paying any attention to the world of queer sex accessories for the past year (and, I mean, who hasn’t?), you’ve no doubt heard a lot of buzz about a little company that goes by the name of RodeoH. I first read about this scrappy up-and-comer (pun fully intended) on Autostraddle – which, consequently, has a great new interview this week with the company’s founder.

For the uninitiated, RodeoH’s whole shtick is comfy, colorful undies that look totally hot and, oh yeah, are also harnesses. That’s right, bois and grrrls: gone are the days of awkwardly adjusting 50 different straps mid-sex or chafing your sensitive spots against huge metal buckles and rings. RodeoH makes strapping on as easy as pulling up your drawers!

rodeoh

Not to sound too much like a late-night Skinemax infomercial, but you guys, I was seriously excited to get my hands and other bits on a pair of these. Unfortunately, I had to wait a while for the boxer design to come out, because I personally couldn’t get down with the panty or brief cuts. But maybe you can! Diversity is good and sexxxy, so you do you (while also doing an enthusiastically consenting partner).

My main concern when ordering my RodeoH boxer was that it would be too loose to give me the kind of control needed to be, well, effective. A floppy cock is not an ideal cock, after all. The website suggests that you order a size smaller than you wear in normal undies, so since I wear a size 38, I ordered their 33-35 boxer. That worked very well for me; it wasn’t so tight that it cut off circulation below the waist (which would have been a real boner killer), but it was tight enough to keep me standing firmly at attention.

I paired my boxer with the Mark O2 by Tantrus, which is a great cock that shares its name with one of Iron Man’s armors. Though most review sites I’ve seen recommend using a smaller cock than that, I’ve always been of the “go big or go home” mindset. I wouldn’t go any bigger than that, however, since it seemed like my Mark O2 was toeing the line of how much weight the boxer could support.

The RodeoH feels a little different while in use than your traditional harness, because the O-ring sits higher on the crotch than most other designs. You may need to adjust your technique accordingly, but trust me, it’s a very easy adjustment. Be warned that if you use a cock with a wide or thick base, you’ll most likely end up with some bruising in your pelvic region the next day (totally worth it).

The RodeoH is as easy to take off as it is to get on (seriously, I’m so happy to be rid of all those straps), and it can go right in the laundry with all your other, less advanced undies. Functional and discreet! ALSO (and this is a big “also” for me), it’s perfect for pack and play. I found that wearing it under a pair of regular boxers is pretty damn effective and doesn’t give you that infamous “pitching a tent” look. The material is stretchy enough that you can actually turn your cock down so the shaft is against your leg and only the base sticks out. When it’s time for the “play” portion of the evening, just move that sucker back up and you’re golden. Boom.

I only have one very personal gripe with the RodeoH boxer. Because of the aforementioned higher O-ring, it’s pretty difficult to get off while wearing it. There just isn’t much friction happening in the area where friction is most needed. Rumor has it that RodeoH is working on a design with extra room for a small bullet vibe, so mayhaps that will be a solution to this problem.

All in all, I would give the RodeoH boxer an 8.5 out of 10*. This is an extremely cool product that is friendly to all sorts of different queer body types and gender expressions. It’s also very affordable and comes in lotsa colors, so I may just need to start stocking up.

Have any of you out there in Cyberland had experience with RodeoH’s products? Don’t be shy, now – I’d love to hear all about your adventures right below in the comments section/sextion!

*Please note that those numbers don’t actually mean anything; I thought this review needed to seem more legit and numbers (especially numbers with decimal points) always add an air of importance.

The Beaver Whisperer and the Oral Obstacle

Q: I am not able to orgasm from receiving head.  I enjoy it immensely, but am unable to cum from tongue action alone. My partners in the past become frustrated with this inability of mine and have put the deed on the “never again list.” I tell them I really enjoy it, but because of the lack of a explosive ending I get denied. What can I say or do to have cunnilingus back in my sex life?

A: I am so sorry for the way that you’ve been treated by your not-quite-up-to-standard butches! You have my sympathy. Any butch worth the title (any dyke, or really, even any sexually active human) ought to realize that we don’t all get off the same way. In fact, sometimes our favorite acts never lead directly to orgasm.

Most women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm, but just because we’ve had this drilled into our heads by every venue from MTV’s Loveline (am I dating myself?) and its corresponding radio show to the longstanding sex advice columnist extraordinaire (of both print and podcast fame) Dan Savage, doesn’t mean that every woman will get off through clitoral stimulation or through clitoral stimulation alone.

Here are a few different cunnilinguistic scenarios to share with your butches if they haven’t tried them in the past. (And I invite all of our readers to add ideas of your own in the comments!)

Oral Sex Tips

1. Tongue Fucking: Instead of focusing solely on the clitoris, fuck the vaginal canal with your tongue, literally. Push your tongue inside as far as it will go and repeat, indefinitely. For many people, this is actually more psychological than it is much of a physical sensation, but you’ll often need your mind in the right place in order to reach orgasm.

2. Suck Her Cock, er, Clit: Instead of just flicking or circling your tongue against or around the clitoris, suck the whole thing into your mouth and go at it the same way you want your femme to suck your cock. Butches tend to love this, BTW, but a lot of femmes get off on it, too.

3. Combo Clit Vaginal Moan, er, Orgasm: Fuck your femme with your fingers (as many as she likes) while you are enthusiastically licking, flicking, circling, or sucking her clitoris with your tongue. Find the tongue motion that she likes, then add finger fucking.

What does make you orgasm? Choose any of those activities and then have your butch do them while going down on you. You’ll orgasm while getting head, which is what she seems to want, and you’ll get head and an orgasm, even though the head is not directly causing the orgasm.

If you’re stuck in the position where your butch has already put cunnilingus on the “never again” list and thus don’t know how to get her to try any of my (and hopefully our) helpful suggestions, stick to your guns. There is no excuse for not going down on your girl, whether she cums from it or not. Tell your butch I said so. Tell her what you want in bed, and expect to get it. You can also offer a trade. Choose an act that she wants that you’re not that into, and offer her a swap. If there aren’t any that you’re not into (you fantastic femme, you!), choose her favorite and offer her the trade. I can’t imagine a butch (who is worth your time) who wouldn’t comply.

I wish you many happy orgasms and much luck on your cunnilinguistic journey!

The Beaver Whisperer

The Buzz Cuts and Bustiers Guide to Butch-Femme Porn

Obligatory warning:  Everything in this post  is NSFW and for adult eyes only. Because, you know, porn.

The holiday season may not have officially started yet (even though the stores here have had Christmas paraphernalia up since before friggin’ Halloween), but I’m already in the spirit of giving. Yes, I just love to give, give, give, and then to receive, receive, receive, over and over again, all night long. See where I’m going with this? I hope so, because if not, I’m about to seriously corrupt some innocent readers.

My goal with this post is to help fill a void (heheheheh) in our community resources that has been bugging me for some time: the lack of visible, accessible, butch-femme porn. Before you get too excited, allow me to clarify. I’m not making my own butch-femme porn (though, considering the sinking ship that is professional journalism, I might need the extra cash someday); I’m compiling a list of butch-femme porn that I’ve hunted down and reviewed just for you, my favorite perverts. And, since more than half the search results that bring people to this blog have “porn” somewhere in there, I figured it was time to give the people what they want.

Before I get to the list (put the Hitachi away for a minute, chief), allow me to shine some light on the movie selection and review process. I looked at two sites that feature porn by queers, for queers: The Crash Pad Series and Juicy Pink Box. These studios offered the widest selection of porn that, to my eyes at least, starred real live LGBT people and not the “lesbians” (read: bleach-blonde, long nailed straight chicks halfheartedly nibbling at each other) that one sees in mainstream “lesbian” (read: wank ammo for hetero dudes) porn. Keep in mind that both these sites are subscription-based. Yes, I paid to write this post, and it probably isn’t even tax-deductible (note to self: ask H&R Block about claiming porn). That’s how much I love you.

I also took a look at Hot Movies for Her, but it seemed to be more of a porn fan community, rather than a production studio, so I didn’t include it here.

So what did I look for in these films, besides super hot queers banging the heck outta each other? I polled the Twitterverse and, with the help of my GF-come-sexy-secretary, compiled a 42 (!) point checklist of possible sexual acts, kinks, and dynamics. Let’s just say there was a spreadsheet involved (emphasis on the “spread” – oooh!). We’re nothing if not professional.

One category that people requested was “realistic bodies,” meaning no airbrushed, silicone nonsense. Welp, as far as I can tell, all these videos meet that requirement. Keepin’ it real, yo.

My only too happy to comply femme and I watched porn for roughly 10 hours. Maybe more. After a while, time seemed to stop and the universe was just a giant ball of lube, latex, ass, and alternative lifestyle haircuts. So, basically Pride Week condensed into a day. It was beautiful.

Just one more quick note before I show you the goods. The most challenging part of compiling this list was deciding what could be considered butch-femme porn and what could not. Out of all the videos I saw, there was only one that featured performers who explicitly identified as butch and femme in their bios. That put me in the awkward position of labeling complete strangers based on appearance and a little dialogue. This means that many of the videos are listed as butch-femme porn because they looked butch-femme to me, not because they were billed as such.

There was also the matter of what butch-femme would mean in this context. A large portion of the videos available – especially those from the Crash Pad Series – featured FTM performers. Here was a conundrum: should I list a video featuring a trans man and a cis woman as butch-femme? Or would that be just queer? Or would it actually be straight? I know there are trans men who ID as butch, but there are also trans men who would not appreciate being saddled with a traditionally lesbian term. In the end, I decided that it would be better to not list these videos, rather than to impose upon someone an identity that could very well be contradictory to their actual identity. Hopefully, I made the right choice.

Without further ado, here are the films that I reviewed. For each entry, you’ll find the title, performers, and sex acts/kinks/etc. featured within. (OK, you can bring the Hitachi out again.) Here we go!

From Juicy Pink Box:

Taxi, Episode 1: DOMME. Starring Jiz Lee (three guesses on where that name came from) and Madison Young. Jiz plays a dapper John and Madison is the high-class domme paid to tease her client through an NYC cab ride. Features power play, a femme top, a butch bottom, bondage, blindfolds, gagging, and the elusive “butch tits.” (And who doesn’t love a good butch tit?)

Taxi, Episode 2: SWEAT. Starring Syd Blakovich (my switch boi porn star hero) and Justine Joli. Cabbie Syd shows passenger Justine the sights, if you know what I mean. Features tattoos, a naked butch (harder to find than you might think), butch tits, cunnilingus, fisting, and reciprocity. Man, do I love reciprocity.

Taxi, Episode 6: TRIO. Starring Billie Sweet, Jett Bleu (not to be confused with rival actor, American Airlines), and Theodore Shebang. Lovebirds Billie and Jett let Theo in on their backseat sexytimes. Two femmes, one butch. Features a threesome (obvs), fisting, butch tits, and smoking.

Taxi, Episode 11: PENETRATION. Starring Nic Switch, Madison Young, and Jiz Lee. More three-way freeway fun, this time with two butches and a femme. Features a threesome, double penetration, blowjobs, tattoos, strap-ons, reciprocity, butch tits, and anal play.

From the Crash Pad Series:

Season 1, Episode 5. Starring Syd Blakovich and Rozen DeBowe. Syd has moved from the cab to the pad, knocking boots with hot femme Rozen. Don’t get too cocky, Syd, because Rozen has a few tricks down her jeans. Features a femme top, a butch bottom, a clear view of the vag, strap-ons (in this case, femme strapping!), and blowjobs.

Season 6, Episode 40. Starring Rex and Scarlett. This video is the one self-ID’ed-butch-with-self-ID’ed-femme that I mentioned. It made me very happy for that reason alone! The sex was a nice bonus. Features a butch top, a femme bottom, bondage, S&M, the pinwheel toy, and people of size.

Season 6, Episode 41. Starring Syd Blakovich and Princess Donna (femme-est porn star name ever). Man, I’m beginning to think that Syd never sleeps and just spends each and every minute of the day banging lovely ladies. If so, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Features tattoos, a naked butch, cunnilingus, a clear view of the vag, reciprocity, butch tits, choking, massages, and rimming.

Season 7, Episode 47. Starring Carson, Sadie Lune, and Zhaira. Soft butch Carson juggles two dates at once, with aggressive femme Sadie calling the shots while passive, tied-up trans lady Zhaira watches and eventually gets to join in. Features a threesome, bondage, hair pulling, power play, a clear view of the vag, a naked butch, a femme top, S&M, blowjobs, cunnilingus, butch tits, gagging, choking, and a vibrator.

Season 9, Episode 61. Starring Jobe and P-U-P-P-Y (I swear I don’t make this stuff up). A little quick and dirty motel room romp never hurt anybody – unless they like being hurt, which these two do. Features reciprocity, tattoos, strap-ons, a femme top, blowjobs, choking, and caning.

Season 11, Episode 71. Starring Asteroid and Peyton. These two just love slapping and spanking each other silly, and we’re lucky enough to get to watch. Features a femme top, fisting, a clear view of the vag, tattoos, reciprocity, cunnilingus, butch tits, anal play, and choking.

Season 12, Episode 80. Starring Sweet Tea and Summer Salt. This boi and femme share their passions for dirty sex and food-related stage names in this sticky scene. Features hair pulling, tattoos, strap-ons, S&M, and blow jobs.

Season 12, Episode 83. Starring Tina Horn and Roger Wood. Sweet de Sade, these two are sure into giving and receiving pain. This almost hurt to watch, but I’m a wuss like that. Features a butch top, a femme bottom, power play, tattoos, strap-ons, a clear view of the vag, S&M, cunnilingus, choking, flogging, and Daddy/Girl dynamics.

Season 14, Episode 97. Starring Cinnamon and Indigo. This stud-femme couple gets right down to business with the strapping and spanking. I admire their style. Features strap-ons, a butch top, a femme bottom, tattoos, a naked butch, butch tits, reciprocity, a clear view of the vag, people of size, and choking.

Season 15, Episode 103. Starring Syd Blakovich and Dylan Ryan. Syd’s at it again, this time with famous femme Dylan. I’ve got two words for you: Bejeweled. Butt-plug. (Maybe three words?) Features a butch top, a femme bottom, anal play, strap-ons, tattoos, butch tits, choking, a clear view of the vag, and lesbian processing. Yes, that is correct. Even in our porn, we dykes just can’t stop with the Feelings.

Season 16, Episode 108. Starring Q-Tip and Sara Vibes. Q wins my Best Porn Outfit Ever Award (a very prestigious honor) for the leather-straps and Green Lantern undies combination. Say the Butch Lantern Corps Oath with me now: “In brightest day, in blackest night, no pussy shall escape my sight…” Features strap-ons, blowjobs, a butch top, a femme bottom, butch tits, people of size, and leather.

There you have it, folks! A nice big, long, sticky selection of butch-femme porn to inspire your fantasies – and hopefully, your realities. I know I haven’t found all the butch-femme porn in the world, try as I did; please, if you have any recommendations, share them in the comments. Remember: it’s all about reciprocity.

Now if you need me, I’ll be in my bunk.