Dandy Butches, Gender Theory, and S. Bear Bergman – Oh My!

I try to not do this very often, because it feels weirdly like cheating (the blogger’s version of “double dipping,” maybe) and I harbor much internalized Catholic/Jewish guilt, but today I’m going to direct your attention to a piece I just wrote for Diffuse 5. Typically, my focus on D5 is informing stylish queers about sweet things to buy and where to buy ’em. This week, however, what started out as an innocent, fun little post about dapper fashion somehow morphed into a full-blown feminist rant about social constructs of masculinity and femininity, institutionalized misogyny, and gender policing in the queer community. Clearly, I was wearing my (well-tailored) Serious Pants when I wrote this. Or maybe I just really need a vacation. I’ll let you all decide for yourselves. Das link:

In Defense of the Dandy Butch

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4 thoughts on “Dandy Butches, Gender Theory, and S. Bear Bergman – Oh My!

  1. I was a bio man until 7 years ago, when I finally switched teams at the tender age of 53. So I completely understand your reaction to your g/f’s comment. “Pretty” is one of the most threatening words to a masculine identity that our culture has. If you’re in this culture, your idea of masculinity has to have been influenced by all the blatant and subtle social cues that are just everywhere. It’s not surprising that you at least partly carried this idea of masculinity into your butch identity. Congratulations on recognizing it when it happened, and making a conscious choice what to do about it. We can’t escape our conditioning; the best we can do is rise above it.

    • Thank you for making me feel a bit less ridiculous in my Pavlovian response to “pretty.” I guess admitting you have a problem is the first step, eh? Thanks for sharing your story!

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