Ugliest Outfit: There Can Be Only One

Take it from a pro: Looking good is hard work. Putting together an uber-dapper, super-chic ensemble can be exhausting, and that’s why you sometimes see people plodding around the grocery store at 10 AM on a Sunday like so many hungover wildebeests, draped in faded Old Navy Famous $5 Flag T-shirts and 10-year-old sweatpants with questionable stains.

But what if, for one magical day, the ugliest outfits out there were honored – nay, awarded - for their sheer, unadulterated atrociousness? Well friends, that day is coming on April 10th! Dyke Duds and Unbound Apparel have teamed up to bring you the Ugliest Outfit Contest, a celebration of fashion faux pas and style sacrilege. You could win Unbound Apparel clothing, an Adam Mardel CD, and the adoration of slobs – sorry, I mean “fashion-challenged” individuals – everywhere. The deadline for submissions is April 8th, which is quite soon, so you better hop to it. Oh, and did I mention that I’m a judge? I like to think of myself as the Randy Jackson of the panel, mostly because I enjoy calling people “dawg” and overusing the word “yo.” Here are the official rules:

Submit your picture at dykeduds.com/submit with “Ugliest outfit contest” in the title. Include your email, phone number, and name you wish to be displayed. Your personal information will be kept private and only used for getting in touch with you if you win. Photo quality will be taken into consideration. The picture must be of you. Nuddie photos will be disqualified.

By submitting photos, you are giving permission for your picture to be posted on all Dyke Duds and Unbound Apparel online materials.

Well, don’t just stand there – go put on something hideous, STAT!

It Was a Liebster! (Rock Liebster!)

Holy cannoli, you guys – I won an award! Hoorah!!! It’s a Liebster Award, which is awesome, because the name simultaneously makes me think of Jewish delis and the Rock Lobster song by the B-52’s (two very good things). As I’ve been caught completely unawares and never wrote an acceptance speech, I’ll just have to wing it. First off, I’d like to thank Natasia over at Hot Femme in NYC for nominating me. You’re the bomb diggity, girl! Everybody: read her blog, STAT! I’d also like to thank the Academy, the Gay Agenda, my girlfriend, WordPress, that “Kiss” poster that we all hung in our freshman dorms, Doctor Marten, my 11th grade English teacher, and all of you, dearest readers, for making this possible. And of course, big ups to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, through which all things are possible and full of delicious carbs.

Ooh, shiny.

In order to accept the Lieb (can I call it “the Lieb”? I’m going to), the recipient must pass on the goodwill by shouting out five other blogs. Yeah, it’s like one of those chain emails that you always get from your great aunt in Tulsa, only this one is about fantastic bloggers and not, I dunno, inspirational Jesus stories or “proof” that President Obama is really a Muslim socialist Kenyan anti-Christ leader of the Bloods. So way better, right?

Without further ado, I’d like to present my nominees for the Lieb:

Just Another White Woman: Justa (or sometimes her stud alter-ego Rod) keeps it real with her often sexxxy and always thought-provoking observations on stud/femme culture, diversity in the queer community, and the rollercoaster that is dyke dating.

A Stranger in This Place: Wendi, a self-decribed motorcyle-riding butch lesbian, offers wisdom and support to fellow butches and is also a kickass poet. What’s not to love here?

Is This Thing On?: Amanda is a multi-tasking super femme, sharing her drool-worthy culinary creations, exercise tips (which you’ll need after said creations), hilarious anecdotes, and fashionista tips. Plus, videos! Hooray for multimedia!

Can I Help You, Sir?: G is the mastermind behind the popular Butch 360 (which I’m honored to participate in), in which butches of all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds answer bi-monthly questions. G also blogs about a wide range of topics, from gender presentation and LGBT rights to fashion and food, so there’s something for every reader.

A Femme in NYC: Maria is the sassy, take-no-prisoners femme that your mama warned you about, so naturally her blog is a great read. Check out her blunt and hilarious advice on dating, community-building, friendship, and the always-complicated-but-never-dull butch-femme dance.